Candlehead's completely useless stuff for sale
by Agent BM
Summary: Candlehead has stuff she wants to sell to you all and the arcade, and to demonstrate she's found some volunteers to test the stuff. This won't end well for her or anybody
1. Bedtime products

**Candlehead's completely useless stuff for sale**

**I don't own wreck it ralph. Any oc's that aren't mine will be given credit to the author who made them. I'm pretty sure you know which oc's are mine and which aren't **

"Greetings everyone, i'm candlehead here to sell you some really cool stuff. Are you having trouble falling asleep at night?" asked Candlehead

A 7 year old Lucy Fluggerbutter walked up to her in purple pajamas and carrying a plush devil dog

"Yeah, i was happily in bed sleeping until you broke into my room and kidnapped me" shouted Lucy angrily

"I know this little girl is, so to help her and you to sleep, i'm here to introduce the new relaxation pillow, all you do is lie your little sleepy head on it and have the soothing sounds of nature drift you to sleep" said Candlehead

Lucy lied her head on the pillow and fell asleep on candleheads couch

"Ain't she just a cutie pie? And when it's time to wake up, the sound of cars crashing jolts you right awake" said Candlehead

A loud car crash noise shot from the pillow and Lucy glitched through Candleheads ceiling. Candlehead pulled her down

"If that didn't make you fall asleep, i have more to sell" said Candlehead

"Oh really? Can't wait to try them out" said Lucy sarcastically

"That's the spirit sophie" said Candlehead

"My name is Lucy" said Lucy annoyed

"Next we have the amazing all new knock out juice" said Candlehead as she held up a purple bottle

She grabbed Lucy and made her chug the juice down. Lucy's face turned purple. She covered her mouth and ran for the bathroom and puked.

"Warning may cause stomach aches, and whatever's going on in there" said Candlehead

"While she pukes allow me to introduce the bed o matic, it's the comfiest bed you'll ever lie on. You can make it anyway you want"

She grabbed Lucy who just got out of the bathroom and threw her on the bed

"It can be furry like cat or dog"

The bed grew fur

"Hard as a rock" said Candlehead

The bed turned into a hard rock

"This is really uncomfortable" said Lucy

"It can even be your worst nightmare" said Candlehead

The bed turned into a monster that scared Lucy onto the couch. Candlehead pushed a button on the bed that made it turn back into a bed

"Can you please take me home, i want to go to sleep, in my nice warm bed, with my gummy bear and my dog" said Lucy

"What do you say folks, you can get the bed o matic, knock out juice, and the relaxation pillow for not $400, not $300, not $200, but for $199 dollars plus free shipping" shouted Candlehead

"Hey, i said take me home" shouted Lucy angrily

"Aw, is the little girl cranky?" asked Candlehead

"SHUT UP!" shouted Lucy

"Does the cranky girl need her mommy and daddy to tuck her in?" asked Candlehead mockingly

"Are you insulting my mommy and daddy?" asked Lucy angrily

"Maybe i am, maybe i'm not, is that a problem?" asked Candlehead

Lucy growled at her. Vanellope burst thru the front door in a bathrobe, pajamas and slippers

"Candlehead, the guards told me you broke into my house and kidnapped my daughter in the middle of the night. How do you think i feel about that?" asked Vanellope angrily

"Hey Van, would you like to buy any of my stuff i'm advertising? It's only $199 dollars" said Candlehead

"Is that a camera?" asked Vanellope

"Yeah it is" said Candlehead

Vanellope pushed Candlehead towards the camera

(Please Stand By)

The camera turned back on to show Vanellope and Lucy beating the fudge out of Candlehead

(Please stand by)

The camera turned back on. Vanellope picked up her daughter

"Come on Lucy, let's go home" said Vanellope as she walked out

Candlehead got up with a beaten up face and torn clothing, her candle was bent

"Ok now next offer, i will pay you $5 if somebody can find me a hospital that's open this late" said Candlehead before fainting

**YOU have an idea for a product and you want your oc in this? Just leave a review and i'll talk to you. Also let me know what you think of this**


	2. Animal transformation machine

"Hello, it's Candlehead here, standing inside my brand new store, Crazy Candleheads awesome stuff emporium. And boy do i have a deal for you, and today i found myself another volunteer" said Candlehead

The camera moved to show a 7 year old Kevin Fluggerbutter inside a machine banging against a glass door

"Let me out of here, come on i have a cartoon marathon at home to watch" shouted Kevin inside the machine

"Now have you ever wanted to be an animal? Have you ever wanted to fly like a bird or run like a cheetah, or live like an Ant? Well for the low low price of $29.95, you can come on down to crazy candles and i'll turn you into an animal, let's demonstrate" said Candlehead

She pushed a button on the machine and kevin was surrounded with smoke, when the machine stopped Kevin coughed and tried to see his body but couldn't, but candlehead could

"Oops, i forgot my machine has a teeny tiny glitch" said Candlehead

"Aah, i don't have any fingers, Candles what did you do?" asked Kevin

"I was gonna turn you into a tiger, but the machine has a little problem i forgot to fix" said Candlehead

"What's that?" asked Kevin

"You know what an equestrian creature is?" asked Candlehead

"No" said Kevin

"It's another name for a horse and pony, and i turned you into a unicorn" said Candlehead

Kevin looked at his reflection in the glass and screamed. Candlehead pushed him out of the machine and into a glass animal pen. Kevin was a brown unicorn, not more than a foot or 2 big

"Candlehead you turned me into a my little pony, i'm gonna kill you when i get out of here" shouted Kevin

His family walked into the store

"Candles have you seen my son? He just dissapeared and we don't know where" said Rancis

"Mom, Dad, Lucy, i'm in here" shouted Kevin

The 3 looked at him

"Kevin, what happened to you?" asked Vanellope shocked

"That dum dum candlehead turned me into a girly sisy horse creature" said Kevin

"No fair, i like those things, i want to be a pony" said Lucy

Candlehead pushed them into the machine, turned them into ponies, and threw them into the glass cage

"Yay i'm a unicorn, but now i want to be a human, i can't scratch my back and i feel funny, also having no fingers feels weird" said Lucy

The family began to bang against the glass, slowly cracking it

"A 40 Dollar value can be yours for only $29.95 folks, A 40 DOLLAR VALUE! HURRY ON DOWN TO CRAZY CANDLEHEADS AWESOME STUFF EMPORIUM! HURRY UP BEFORE THEY LOCK ME UP, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

The family burst out of their cage and walked angrily towards candlehead

"CHANGE, US, BACK" shouted Rancis angrily

"Sure, of course, i think the antidote's in my office, i'll just go get it"

She ran out the front door

"CANDLEHEAD!" shouted the family angrily before giving chase


	3. Back to School Sale

**Hello everyone, before i begin, i want to tell you this will be the last story i'll be updating for a few days. I'm going on vacation and wish not to be disturbed by chats and pms, i'll be back to writing a week from today. Until then, here's the story**

"Hello, crazy candle here, at crazy candleheads awesome stuff emporium. School is back in session but that doesn't mean it has to be boring. Here today i have president Vanellope and her family here to check out some of the stuff i have" said Candlehead

"This better be good candlehead" said Vanellope

"We don't even go to school" said kevin

"I know why're we here, these 2 don't start racing school til they're 10" said Rancis

"Hey, you want to find out who farted in class? Well with the fart identifier spray, you just spray it around the room and the culprits butt will turn green" said Candlehead

She sprayed a can of green spray all over the room that made the family cough. Candlehead's skirt had a green stain on it which meant she farted

"Oops, must've been those baked beans, and speaking of beans, behold my jelly bean maker. All you do is put in string beans, lima beans, baked beans, green beans, all types of yucky beans into the machine and it makes jelly beans 100 percent of the time" said Candlehead

She put in a can of beans into the machine and everyone got splattered with baked beans

"20 percent of the time, still working on that bug" said Candlehead

"Candlehead i don't think-

"Next we have teacher proof earplugs, put them on and you can't hear anything. You can skip that boring lecture or history lesson and catch up on some z's" said Candlehead as she put the earplugs on

"Candlehead-

"What's that, can't hear ya" said Candlehead

Rancis threw the plugs away

"We're not spending our money on these ridiculous products" said Rancis

"Can we go home now?" asked Lucy

"Yes we can" said Vanellope

"Looking for a cool trendy fashion, try out my patented candle hats, they're all the rage" said Candlehead

She noticed Vanellope and her family leaving

"Wait, i still have one more thing, wedgie and bully proof underwear, keeps your butt from getting hurt. Come on hit me, kick me in the butt, give me a wedgie, i won't feel it" said Candlehead

Lucy and kevin kicked her in the butt

"Didn't feel a thing" said Candlehead

"Goodbye candles" said Kevin

"Wait, come back, i got candy" shouted Candlehead as the family drove off from the store


	4. Sugar Maniacs cereal

"Hello everyone, candlehead here, and i got something brand new to start your day, sugar maniacs. The all new breakfast cereal made from bran, whole grain oats, cocoa puffs, sprinkles, sugar, my really special secret ingredient which i won't tell you, and tiny little marshmallows shaped like all the sugar racers heads" said Candlehead

She grabbed a red marshmallow

"See, look at my head" said Candlehead "Don't take my word for it, i paid a candy man to have President Vanellope and her family try it out. They don't know it's my product, that's why they tested it, lets look at the video"

She turned on a video of Vanellope and her family with bowls of the cereal

"Introducing Sugar maniacs, the all new breakfast cereal" said an announcer

"So we try this once and get paid right?" asked Rancis

"Absolutely"

"Can't be that bad" said Kevin

The family took a spoonful and ate the cereal

"Sugar maniacs, the cereal that gives you that get up and go feeling" said the announcer

The family dropped their spoons. Their stomachs grumbled loudly

"My tummy doesn't feel so good" said Lucy

Their stomachs grumbled louder

"I gotta get up and go" said Rancis

"Me too" said Kevin

"I'll race you all to the nearest bathroom" said Vanellope

They ran out of their seats off camera. Candlehead turned on a song

"Here's my cereals jingle" said Candlehead

"It's Sugar maniacs, it's nutritiously bad. It's the cereal that attacks all of your digestive tracks. It's super yummy yummy"

"My tummy's in painey" said Vanellope on the video who was lying near a toilet

"Sugar maniacs, now available at Candlehead's awesome stuff emporium"

"So what're you waiting for folks, come on down and get a box, one bite and you'll get that get up and go feeling" said Candlehead

**This'll probably be the last time i use Vanellope and her family members as candlehead's test subjects for just a little bit. Next chapter i'm gonna choose an oc and a suggestion i got in the comments. Until then, see you soon**


	5. Candleheads patented Fear Gas

"Hello everyone, Candlehead here, and happy halloween. Looking for some fun this halloween? Look no more, for i have created something that will give you plenty of laughs, Candleheads own patented Fear Gas. One whiff of this and you'll see your biggest fears. But don't take my word for it, i've gathered some racers from this game and some new sugar rush game plugged next to my game to test it out, let's take a look at the footage, and we got plenty. Thanks to some specially made cameras, you can see what they're seeing to get the full experience" said Candlehead

(Name: Vanellope Von Schweetz  
Occupation: President  
Game: Sugar Rush  
Fear: Heights)

Vanellope was hanging from a bar on the ceiling. below her she saw the ground was miles below her. If she let go she would fall but in reality, she was in a small room and the ground was still there.

"HELP ME! PLEASE somebody help me" begged Vanellope

(Name: Rancis Fluggerbutter  
Occupation: Racer  
game: sugar rush  
Fear: Losing his hair)

"No, don't look at me, PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME! My beautiful hair, GONE!" shouted Rancis

His hair was still on his head yet he believed he was seeing it on the floor cut off and his friends were trying to get pictures of him

(Taffyta Muttonfudge  
Occupation and game: Racer in sugar rush  
Fear: being executed)

Taffyta shook in fear as an executioner sharpened an axe

"This won't hurt at all, it's gonna hurt a lot" said the executioner

Taffyta banged on the door begging to be let out. The executioner went back to sharpening his axe

(Ron Cinnadon  
Racer in sugar rush  
Fear: Giant Scorpions)

Ron was backed against the wall of his cell. He saw a giant scorpion approaching him thanks to the gas

"Stay back, Stay back" said Ron

The scorpion lunged its stinger at him but missed. It tried to hit him with his claws

"Go away, man where's a sword when you need one?" asked Ron

(Lucy Fluggerbutter  
Daughter of Rancis and Vanellope  
Fear: Zombies and bugs)

Lucy was fighting a zombie only she could see as bugs crawled into the room. She tried to swipe them away but there were too many. The zombie pinned her on the floor and tried to bite her

"No, please don't kill me. I don't wanna die. I'm too young to die"

Tears formed in Lucy's eyes. All she saw were the bugs were covering her body and the zombie reached for her neck to bite her. Lucy screamed

(Kevin Fluggerbutter  
Son of Rancis and Vanellope  
Fear: Spiders)

Kevin was forced into a room by a masked man

"Hey let me out of here" shouted Kevin

Candleheads fear gas started to leak into the room. Kevin heard something behind him. He turned around and was horrified. In front of him was a giant hairy red and black spider. Kevin banged on the door

"HEY, LET ME OUT OF HERE! I DON'T LIKE SPIDERS" shouted Kevin

The masked man outside took no notice of him and took notes down on a clipboard

The spider threw him to the side and tried to crush him with its legs.

"Stay back" begged Kevin

The spider roared at him. Kevin shut his eyes and screamed

(Skittles  
Racer from Sugar Rush 2  
Fear: Eclipses?)

Skittles noticed an eclipse in the sky. His candybending powers were worthless now. He couldn't do anything

"No, NO, NOOOOO!" screamed Skittles

The guard outside his room shook his head and took notes

"I don't get his fear" said the guard

(Honey Potts  
Racer in sugar rush  
Fear: People hurting her bees, storms, people not liking her)

"No, please you can't do this" said Honey

A man was spraying poison gas at her honey bees. A cloud appeared over her head and shot out lightning. Honey jumped away and saw all her fellow racers looking at her

"You're worthless honey, you're nothing but a big loser with bumblebees" said Taffyta

Honey began to cry. She walked over to hey dying bees and looked at them

"I'm sorry this is happening to you, i'm sorry this is happening to me" said Honey

The man spraying the bees laughed evilly as Honey cried harder

(Herschel Nougatson  
Obsessed Nascar boy in Sugar Rush  
Fear: The Dark and his family being hurt)

Herschel saw nothing but darkness

"Hello? Is anybody there?" asked Herschel nervously

"Herschey" said someone weakly

"Wipp? Ella?" asked Herschel

The lights flickered on and Herschel saw his wife and daughter lying on the floor in a pool of their own blood. They looked like they were shot or beaten

"What happened to you both?" asked Herschel scared

"Papa, i love you" said Ella before she stopped moving and died

"NOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Herschel

(Ella Nougatson  
Daughter of Herschel Nougatson and Sticky Wipplesnit  
Fear: Aliens from the Alien movies)

Ella tried her best to open the door to her cell but with no luck. A Xenomorph from the movie Alien approached her. It swiped it's claws at her but she narrowly avoided it. The creature jumped towards her and she screamed

(Dylan Lancer  
Racer in sugar rush 2  
Fear: Racer from his game named Teri Lemondrop)

Dylan was being beaten up by a girl with Gold and white hair, yellow boots, a gray skirt, black mini top, and blue eyes. This was his games version of Taffyta only much meaner. This was Teri Lemondrop

"Teri, Please, stop" begged Dylan

"No, i won't stop. Not for you, not for anyone" said Teri

She lifted him up and threw him at the cell wall

(Back with Candlehead)

"See, what'd i tell you. Give this to your friends, and they'll be in for a real scare. And with every order of fear gas you get a gas mask to block out the gas from entering your body. Last thing you need is this stuff getting into your body. My gas comes available in these red or green soda cans" said Candlehead

She opened up one of the cans and got gassed. She saw her candle hop off her head and bounce away

"Hey wait, come back" said Candlehead as she ran after it

'Candleheads all new patented fear gas. Available for a limited time only. Only at Candleheads awesome stuff emporium' said a creepy sounding announcer

A map was put up on the screen

"Check out my new sugar rush location off of exit 5 off main street and Vanellope avenue" said Candlehead

**Herschel and Ella belong to captain alaska**

**Skittles belongs to Vanilla Butter 88**

**Dylan and Teri belong to Prince Kyle Lancer**

**Ron belongs to Smokescreen2814**

**Honey belongs to VickyT36**


End file.
